Fall 2021 - I Don’t Know What’s Wrong With Me

A patient called me recently and said she didn’t know what was wrong with her.  She felt things had been looking up in her life.  Her kids were more settled, case counts were stable(ish), she was seeing friends and family again, and the weather was good.  But somehow, she was feeling worse than ever.  ‘Aren’t I supposed to be happy?’ she said. I knew exactly what she meant.  She was not alone.  I’d heard this before.  Similar versions have been echoed by so many of my patients (and frankly by me personally).  Just when we thought we were about to get off the rollercoaster, the ride had started to tick upwards, and for many, it was too much to bear.

In my opinion, this current chapter of pandemic life has various factors at play, but a significant puzzle piece, and the one I would like to discuss in this article, is our deep collective exhaustion.  People are struggling right now.  There is a blur of fatigue, fear, anger, grief, hate, shame, divisiveness, politicization, guilt, denial, and frustration in the air.  Unfortunately, simultaneously there is also an understandable shortage of patience, empathy, and hope.  It is a tough combo.  We have been at this business of deep uncertainty combined with a lack of safety for simply too long without a rest.  Many are experiencing ‘blunted emotions, spikes in anxiety and depression, and a desire to drastically change something about their lives’, as author’s Amy Cuddy and JillEllyn Riley describe as characteristics of ‘Pandemic Flux Syndrome’ in their recent article in the Washington Post.  (read the article here).  In general, this phase feels as if we are at an all time low.

My goal in reaching out today is to name some of what is happening, normalize it, offer you some tools that may be relevant, and remind you that the phases will continue to evolve.  I propose together we practice sitting in this state of flux, and find a way to live with it the best way we can.

Listening to our Nervous System
Recently, I have been doing a ton of talking, listening, thinking, and learning.  In addition, like all other health care providers, I have also been experiencing first hand my own array of feelings in concert with those of my patients.  It is for certain, a very unique and challenging time.  As a naturopathic doctor, supporting the nervous system has always been part of the job, even in the ‘before times’.  However, this feels different.  It is deeper and more universal. The exhaustion is leaking and affecting everything from our ability to function at work, our interpersonal relationships, or ability to experience joy, and finally, our physical health. If you are getting sicker, or injured, or experiencing worsening mood changes, hormonal changes, ability to multitask, you are not alone.  It is your body talking louder and louder to you.  We have been steeped in the juices of stress and anxiety, and our capacity to adapt is simply no longer there.

How Did We Get Here
Part of how we got here was the illusion that this was a predictable journey.  We are in desperate need to know the end is in sight.  I of course do not have a crystal ball, but this feels like flawed thinking.  Instead, I project each phase of the road will continue to morph into the next, and it feels unlikely that a day will come when we can stand at the top of the mountain, plant a flag, and celebrate: We conquered the pandemic!  I believe in order to serve our current and future health, adjusting our expectations, and continually coming back to this present moment is key.  After all this is our first time through something like this, and there is no way to know how it will unfold, and I think the constant let down is draining our tank. 

Nourishing our Nervous System
As we begin to reorient, our other task is to nourish our nervous systems.  Start with the basics:  slow down, shift gears, and create intention.  When I talk about this work with my patients, many intuitively know what they need.  Usually, there is a multi pronged approach through lifestyle, nutrition, movement, bodywork, herbs, vitamins, nutrients, and more.  It is often deeply personal, and everyone’s needs are different.  As an example, when discussing nervous system repair, some are called to speak out loudly and forward the broader conversation, as a way to nourish themselves, and others need to back away from hot topics because their bandwidth is currently too narrow.  The more we quiet down, the more we can connect with what we each, as individuals, truly need for recovery.

Completing The Stress Cycle
However, if you are new to this work, or just too tired to think straight, you may be unsure where to start.  One of the most basic approaches I like comes from the book Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski.  Here they describe the stress response as a cycle.  They discuss how you can remove the stressor (or sometimes you can’t - like uncertainty on case counts), but you need to complete the stress cycle in order to manage your response.  

Here are seven simple, evidence based ways, to complete a stress cycle:

1.  Movement:  This is the most efficient way to complete the stress cycle.  This tells the brain you have survived a threat.

2.  Laughter:  A deep belly laugh regulates our emotions.  I have often prescribed stand up comedy to my patients. 

3.  Affection:  a 20 second warm hug or a 6 second kiss (ala John Gottman) is a sign we trust and feel safe with another person.  It changes our hormones (PS this can work with a pet too, maybe not the kiss ;)).

4.  Crying:  The stress hormone cortisol is actually present in tears.  This is a true release.  You can prompt this with a sad movie if needed.  This is great with kids.

5.  Creative expression:  Painting, sculpting, storytelling, music, theatre, etc makes space for our feelings.  It helps us celebrate and move through big emotions. 

6.  Positive social interaction:  This is an external sign that the world is safe.  It can be casual, and as simple as saying to your barista, or complementing your neighbour’s shirt. 

7.  Deep breathing:  This down regulates the stress response, and works especially when the exhale is the longest part of the breath (ideally double the length of the inhale).

You likely have years of incomplete stress cycles living inside your body.  Not to mention these last 18 months. But don’t ‘stress’, just schedule time to practice these suggestions (or anything you intuitively know helps you) regularly.  You need to show the body that you are safe, and drain the stress and anxiety. Start speaking in a language your body can recognize.  

Let Me Help
And if you need more help, let’s talk.  I have lots of experience and strategies to build a sustainable, individualized plan to recharge your nervous system.  I partner with patients to tease out what has worked for them in the past, and what is do-able in the present.  We iron out details in terms of their approach to eating, sleeping, moving their body, their lifestyle, and a personalized protocol of supplements.  I have also been doing more and more acupuncture and craniosacral therapy to cool down nervous systems for those who are able, and comfortable, to come in in person.  Book your next visit now, I am here for you.

This article is filled with the observations and suggestions I have been talking to you about in practice, and reminding myself of, on a daily basis.  This is a messy, chaotic, and difficult time.  I am here to reassure you, what you are experiencing is understandable, and you are not alone. I have always maintained that we each have experienced this pandemic in our own unique way, but there is a common thread as well.  Though it manifests differently, the stress has affected us deeply, and it is time to begin to rebuild.  Here’s to navigating the journey together.

In health,

Dr. P