Fall 2019 - Taking Care Of You In Times Of Transition
It’s 6:30 am and I find myself digging through boxes for toques and mitts. The weather has cooled down significantly in my neck of the woods. The first sign for many of us that transition is in the air! But the changing weather is just the latest in a series of transitions in my life. As many of you know, I recently moved from my adulthood home (Vancouver) to my childhood home (Toronto). All I can say is: What a wild ride! It’s been challenging, thrilling and overall pretty wobbly. I’ve spent a lot of time contemplating this change, so I’ve assembled some notes to share.
Transition in the broadest sense can be anything from a simple change in season or hairstyle, to a complex transition in/out of a romantic partnership, a birth/death, a change in jobs/schools/homes, a shift in how we represent our gender identity/sexual orientation, and much more. Whether large or small, frequent or rare, we are all affected by transition. But we don't all react to change in the same way. There are those among us who crave transition and take on as much as possible. These people find change exciting, it keeps them on their toes. Then there are those who resist change, never voluntarily choose it, and may even feel forced into it. Of course, many fall somewhere in between as well. However, change is inevitable and none of us escape! But we do have a say in how we respond. Through my personal and professional experience, I encourage all of you to take a moment to contemplate change, and perhaps build a strategy for coping, because we never know what lies beyond the next bend.
I’d categorize myself as someone reluctant for change. I am a careful planner, and love to be grounded in familiarity and routine. Nonetheless, I have experienced a great deal of change (both expected and unexpected). Over time, instead of only resisting, I am learning to appreciate the transformation that transition brings, as I believe we are never quite the same coming out, as we were going in. This doesn’t mean it is all of a sudden easy. But when possible, keeping that detail in mind has been helpful. Other little things that have worked for me is to keep some of my routines in place including movement and nutrition. It hasn’t been perfect (which isn’t the goal), but in keeping with some non-negotiable, pre-existing rhythms, I have soothed myself in this time of transition. What lights you up? What brings you joy? What feels like an act of self-love to you? Draw from this list to keep you sane amidst big change.
Hand in hand with change comes loss. Loss can be small or significant, tangible, or esoteric, but it is a piece of this transition puzzle. As a culture, we aren’t especially skilled at managing loss, even though it is ubiquitous. How can we gain comfort with this experience? Let's start with authenticity. During this big transition in my life, I’m often asked, ‘How’s it going?’ I resist the urge to say ‘great,’ and answer honestly instead, ‘Pretty overwhelming.’ Just today I had a response: ‘well I wouldn’t believe you if you said anything otherwise’. Speaking openly is an invitation into the universal experience of change. Also note that with change comes opportunity, a chance to recreate oneself, break old cycles, and see things through a fresh lens. Even a 5% shift in perspective can be powerful. I believe change is necessary for personal growth, which is key as we age, evolve and journey through life.
News flash: change isn't linear, but messy. It is filled with anticipation, anxiety, and the unknown. Remember amidst all change you are the constant. As you navigate, your essential nature is carried along from one experience to the next. Being in relationship with that authentic part of you is key to weather any storm. Practice open heartedness, and self-compassion, and you will do well. My top tips? Let Go, Take it Slow, Laugh a little, And wait. If you yourself are experiencing, contemplating, or anticipating a transition in your life, let’s chat. I have lots of tools to guide you be it strategizing, nutrition, herbs and nutrients to maximize energy, encourage rest and calm, bodywork for relaxation, or otherwise. Let me hear your experience and we will assemble a unique plan. And with all those changes on the horizon I wish you all good luck!
—Dr. P